SPILLED INK

POCKET PROTECTOR

She bought a pocket protector because she thought it would protect her

from my inked black world

Of words

that bled right through

and all over

her beautiful heart

When my days are over. I hope that I am remembered as a grandfather wordsmith.... and at best I'll be acknowledged by musical critics, not as a lyricist.... but as a poet.... and at worst a man that made no sense, imprisoned by his own insanity. I want to hear the requiem sing over this concrete jungle with my last breath. To marvel in its beauty. .. even if it is merely a choir of rusty saws. I will smile.... yes I will smile.... to be part of a world I can hardly move in. If I have the ability to move the world of others.... with the power of words. May creativity always breed creativity.

ONE LOVE

Can we fall head over heals

Madly in love with each other

And just say we didn't

Can we make passionate love

All day and all night

And just say we wouldn't

Can we get married

Upon a hot air balloon

And just say we shouldn't

Can we bring a beautiful child

Into this world

And just say we couldn't

Because the last thing I want to do

is be in my deathbed

Thinking I would have

Should have

And could have

Spent a life time loving you

Only to say

I didn't

Between the collective consciousness and my subconscious mind...these words were suspended...long enough for me to digest, feel, piece together...and spill into my inked black world of shadow

BLACK SHEEP

Sure, I've lost a lot in this incarnation

Only to question if ignorance is bliss

If so that would make me cursed

To have shackles made from my own muscle

To fetter my movement

Like a wingless bird

Tethered to the earth from taking flight

And to have my mind remain unscathed

To be perfectly intact

Sitting in one place day in and out

Staring through a window without a view

As a silent observer

As a silent witness

Of a world that I am no longer part of

A world turned on its head

With no one to blame

With no one to forgive

For this self-incarceration

And the stigma that clings to me

Like a second skin

But me myself and I

The black sheep

In societies' eye

So I don't complain

Because it is, what it is

Or am I blessed

With the challenge of accepting

The seemingly unacceptable

Without ignorance hindering this

If challenges are what helps us evolve

As human beings

In what we call life

To be humbled through humility

Or being more present with each awakened moment

And the senses I didn't lose to be magnified

To get the best out of every moment that passes

Especially when the black sheep costume

Gets taken off by beauty and love

To expose a lone wolf

Hidden under an illusion

That howls at the moon

I can't help but to feel blessed

To have the freedom to write

Outside the world system

Inside this prison within a prison

With hopes I die in a place

Where you will know my name

And I don't complain

No I don't complain

Because it is, what it is.

HOUDINI

A spoonful of sugar

Helps the medicine go down

the medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar

Helps the medicine go down

In a most delightful way

On your 23rd birthday

Your girlfriend called you Houdini

And it wasn't for many years

Til You figured out

The meaning to a nickname that didn't stick

Only because You didn't give it

A chance to

Before your last magic trick

Was performed

The vanishing act

Looking back through the cracks

And folds in time of blacked

Out maps

Tacked to your past

The facts

You were never a magician

You were just a stupid kid

Lost for direction

And warned

You were warned

If you play with fire

You might get burned

But did You listen

You were too busy

Silencing pain bodies

Screaming in your ears

As Houdini

As an escape artist

Like him

You too had grazed death

Only with chemical warfare

Declared on nobody else

But yourself

Whiskey splash

Infused with chemical flame

In the blood stream

Anything to mask your pain

Or soothe your deepest wounds

With black magic

To self medicate

The screaming heartache

Of the little boy

Behind the child gate

That just needed to be held

The catch 22

Is addiction wasn't in your bloodline

Inscribed or etched

Into the blueprints of your soul

It hadn't been past down

From generation to generation

From ancestral conditioning

It was buried

By your inner child

Deep within your subconscious mind

Maybe you were the wildcard that triggered

The gamble with life

By stacking more pain bodies

With each shit hand of cards

That you were dealt

And felt on a deeper level

Being ruled by the moon

Like a runaway train

Or wild fire

There was no stopping you

No Hocus pocus

Abracadabra

In the magic tricks

That you performed

Like Houdini

You were an escape artist

That joined a circus

Of nothing more or less

Then madness

Warned

You were warned

If you play with fire you might get burned

Did you listen

Or were you too busy

Being torn

With mystic gypsies

Flying in the sky

Higher then kites

On a trapeze act

And did any one catch you

Or the house of cards

As it collapsed

To burry your

In symbolic metaphors

That you concealed

Behind locked doors

Chemicals in your head

Chemicals in your bed

Doing your best to mask pain

And erase memories of the dead

With spoons and bloody veins

Like Houdini

You were an escape artist

That only tried to escape yourself

Till it stole your breath and pulse

And You kissed death

The twist of fate

With your last magic trick

The vanishing act

But the only thing that vanished

Was the world around you

into the black

Cracked glass

Spinning compass

Cindering ash

Of directionless maps

With no way back

Lost rabbit within a hat

With no way back

And that was that

Memories of the past

Kept perfectly intact

So you collect the facts

Today you get lost and found

Within a playground of sound

And You wait

With no escape

Till your spirit flies free

Like Houdini

A spoonful of sugar

Helps the medicine go down

the medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar

Helps the medicine go down

In a most delightful way

STARS

If I show up

at your door

in a worn out space suit

holding a bouquet of stars

Know that I hand picked them

special for you

HIDEOUT

On the outskirts of town

Is where I hideout

Twisting restlessly

Within this flesh suit of humanity

Bound by stillness

Hustled by fantasies and dreams

Caressed and beaten

By human emotion

Blood stained vein

Framed the crime scene

Like fingerprints

Left on the murder weapon

With no prosecution needed

For this self imprisonment

Just the chalked out line

Of where my body lied

And where I died

Locked down in my memory

Along with my silenced screams

Within layers of frustration

That I can't take back

Undo or escape

What's been done

On the outskirts of my mind

I sit in my hideout

And throw these lines down

If torment is the best ingredient

For the tortured soul

Of a poet

Then let it be known

And let it be shown

By this hopeless romantic

Writing from the insanity

Of solitary confinement

Where I wear

Loneliness like a sixth sense

So I play day in

And day out

Within the sandbox

of my imagination

On the outskirts of time

Of a life sentence served

Only to unfold

Within words

As I sit in my secret hideout

I watch the sun go up

I watch the sun go down

Through blurred slits

Of my prison cell

That ends at my nose

As I conduct

Secret meetings

With my subconscious mind

To find out

What the fuck

Is this life about

And who the fuck

Is the warden of this prison

If its not my self

And the clock

Goes around and around

With the velocity the planet is spinning at

Im surprised we still have gravity

Tethering the living

To the ground

And I confess

To smile like a child

Who broke open

A piñata filled with candy

Over visiting hour

But my visits

Only seem to get shorter

As I grow older

Lovers come and go

Like wind blown mosquitos

And I do the frame work

While pacing the cage

With each ink spilt word

That falls upon my page

I have no expectations to be freed

Over the tears I bleed

For my freedom I miss

Like the salt would miss the sea

And when all is said and done

Remembering to forget

All my regret

To be grateful

To live threw death

On the outskirts of town

Is where I hide out

BLACK BEAUTY

Embrace love as if it's blind

Like faceless beauty

Erase everything

Like fairy tales

Or fantasies of perfection

Dip our bodies in black ink

And sink into loves feeling

Like I do

Deep within its bliss

I taste the salt upon shadows

And feel warmth within flesh

Only to feel the sting

Because love has been blinded

How do I know I found it

If it's not with you

My blackened beauty

That's curves get outlined

On soaked paper with inked black words

Shimmering colourless

I trace your face

Like a lost artist

I taste the ink

That drips from your lips

In love that's blind

I find you by feeling

Your black beauty

Deep within poetry

like four letter words

That curl up in the nook of your neck

Let time unveil the truth

If love is merely a facade

Or is it just perfectly flawed

In this blacked out reality

I wait with out waiting

To blindly embrace you

BEHIND

Behind my back

I have an itch

That can't be scratched

A glitch

That can't be patched

Behind my back

My losses test my threshold

With those I loved

Who packed up

And left me behind

With memories of a past

Stained black

Behind my back

Lovers detach

And gums flap

In the wake

Of mortal mistakes

And I listen

With intent

To break patterns

As seasons fly past

With the planet's rotation

I do my best

To hold joy fast

Behind my back

Mind over matter

Keeps my sanity

Intact

As photos

Try stealing us

From the now

Blessed to be

Blind to see

Distractions

Destructions to keep me from being

Present with each moment

Without seeing and the same time I'm cursed

To be such a dreamer

With an over active imagination

That Can't let go of the past

And strives for a brighter future

With a secret

Locket in my pocket

Just waiting to unlock it

To reveal a photo

Of a beauty that's true

A photo of you

With my chips stacked

Behind my back

I move forward