SPILLED INK

POCKET PROTECTOR 

 

She bought a pocket protector because she thought it would protect her 

from my inked black world 

Of words 

that bled right through 

and all over 

her beautiful heart

When my days are over. I hope that I am remembered as a grandfather wordsmith.... and at best I'll be acknowledged by musical critics, not as a lyricist.... but as a poet.... and at worst a man that made no sense, imprisoned by his own insanity. I want to hear the requiem sing over this concrete jungle with my last breath. To marvel in its beauty. .. even if it is merely a choir of rusty saws. I will smile.... yes I will smile.... to be part of a world I can hardly move  in. If I have the ability to move the world of others.... with the power of words. May creativity always breed creativity.  

ONE LOVE

 

 

Can we fall head over heals 

Madly in love with each other 

And just say we didn't 

 

Can we make passionate love 

All day and all night 

And just say we wouldn't 

 

Can we get married 

Upon a hot air balloon

And just say we shouldn't 

 

Can we bring a beautiful child 

Into this world 

And just say we couldn't 

 

Because the last thing I want to do 

is be in my deathbed 

Thinking I would have 

Should have 

And could have 

Spent a life time loving you 

Only to say 

 

I didn't

Between the collective consciousness and my subconscious mind...these words were suspended...long enough for me to digest, feel, piece together...and spill into my inked black world of shadow

BLACK SHEEP

 

Sure, I've lost a lot in this incarnation

Only to question if ignorance is bliss

 

If so that would make me cursed

 

To have shackles made from my own muscle

To fetter my movement 

Like a wingless bird

Tethered to the earth from taking flight 

And to have my mind remain unscathed

To be perfectly intact

 

Sitting in one place day in and out

Staring through a window without a view

 

As a silent observer

As a silent witness

Of a world that I am no longer part of

 

A world turned on its head

With no one to blame

With no one to forgive

For this self-incarceration

And the stigma that clings to me 

Like a second skin

 

But me myself and I 

The black sheep

In societies' eye

So I don't complain

Because it is, what it is

 

Or am I blessed

With the challenge of accepting 

The seemingly unacceptable

Without ignorance hindering this

 

If challenges are what helps us evolve

As human beings

In what we call life

To be humbled through humility

Or being more present with each awakened moment 

And the senses I didn't lose to be magnified

 

To get the best out of every moment that passes

Especially when the black sheep costume

Gets taken off by beauty and love

 

To expose a lone wolf

Hidden under an illusion

That howls at the moon

I can't help but to feel blessed 

To have the freedom to write

Outside the world system

Inside this prison within a prison

With hopes I die in a place

Where you will know my name

 

And I don't complain

No I don't complain

Because it is, what it is.

HOUDINI 

 

A spoonful of sugar

Helps the medicine go down

the medicine go down

the medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar 

Helps the medicine go down 

In a most delightful way

 

On your 23rd birthday

Your girlfriend called you Houdini

And it wasn't for many years

Til You figured out

The meaning to a nickname that didn't stick

 

Only because You didn't give it

A chance to

Before your last magic trick

Was performed

 

The vanishing act

 

Looking back through the cracks

And folds in time of blacked

Out maps

Tacked to your past

The facts

You were never a magician

You were just a stupid kid

Lost for direction

 

And warned

 

You were warned

If you play with fire

You might get burned

But did You listen

 

You were too busy

Silencing pain bodies

Screaming in your ears

 

As Houdini

As an escape artist

 

Like him

You too had grazed death

Only with chemical warfare

Declared on nobody else

But yourself

 

Whiskey splash

Infused with chemical flame

In the blood stream

Anything to mask your pain

Or soothe your deepest wounds

With black magic

To self medicate

The screaming heartache 

Of the little boy

Behind the child gate

That just needed to be held

 

The catch 22 

Is addiction wasn't in your bloodline 

Inscribed or etched 

Into the blueprints of your soul 

 

It hadn't been past down 

From generation to generation 

From ancestral conditioning 

 

It was buried 

By your inner child 

Deep within your subconscious mind 

 

Maybe you were the wildcard that triggered 

The gamble with life 

By stacking more pain bodies 

With each shit hand of cards 

That you were dealt 

And felt on a deeper level 

Being ruled by the moon 

Like a runaway train 

Or wild fire 

 

There was no stopping you

No Hocus pocus 

Abracadabra 

In the magic tricks 

That you performed 

 

Like Houdini 

 

You were an escape artist 

That joined a circus 

Of nothing more or less 

Then madness 

 

Warned 

 

You were warned 

If you play with fire you might get burned

Did you listen 

 

Or were you too busy 

Being torn 

With mystic gypsies 

Flying in the sky 

Higher then kites 

On a trapeze act 

And did any one catch you 

 

Or the house of cards

As it collapsed 

To burry your 

In symbolic metaphors 

That you concealed 

Behind locked doors 

 

Chemicals in your head 

Chemicals in your bed 

Doing your best to mask pain 

And erase memories of the dead 

With spoons and bloody veins

 

Like Houdini

 

You were an escape artist 

That only tried to escape yourself

Till it stole your breath and pulse

And You kissed death

 

The twist of fate

With your last magic trick

The vanishing act

But the only thing that vanished 

Was the world around you

into the black

 

 

Cracked glass

Spinning compass

Cindering ash 

Of directionless maps

With no way back

Lost rabbit within a hat

With no way back

And that was that 

Memories of the past 

Kept perfectly intact

So you collect the facts

 

Today you get lost and found 

Within a playground of sound 

And You wait 

 

With no escape

 

Till your spirit flies free

 

Like Houdini

 

A spoonful of sugar

Helps the medicine go down

the medicine go down

the medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar 

Helps the medicine go down 

In a most delightful way

STARS
 
If I show up
at your door
in a worn out space suit
holding a bouquet of stars
Know that I hand picked them
special for you

HIDEOUT

 

On the outskirts of town

Is where I hideout

Twisting restlessly

Within this flesh suit of humanity

 

 

Bound by stillness

Hustled by fantasies and dreams

Caressed and beaten

By human emotion

 

Blood stained vein 

Framed the crime scene

Like fingerprints

Left on the murder weapon

 

With no prosecution needed

For this self imprisonment

Just the chalked out line

Of where my body lied

And where I died

 

Locked down in my memory

Along with my silenced screams

Within layers of frustration

That I can't take back

Undo or escape

What's been done

 

On the outskirts of my mind

I sit in my hideout

And throw these lines down

 

If torment is the best ingredient

For the tortured soul

Of a poet

Then let it be known

And let it be shown

By this hopeless romantic

Writing from the insanity

Of solitary confinement

 

Where I wear

Loneliness like a sixth sense

So I play day in

And day out

Within the sandbox 

of my imagination

 

On the outskirts of time

Of a life sentence served

Only to unfold

Within words

As I sit in my secret hideout

 

I watch the sun go up 

I watch the sun go down 

Through blurred slits 

Of my prison cell

That ends at my nose 

 

 

As I conduct 

Secret meetings 

With my subconscious mind 

To find out 

What the fuck 

Is this life about 

And who the fuck 

Is the warden of this prison 

If its not my self 

And the clock 

Goes around and around 

With the velocity the planet is spinning at 

Im surprised we still have gravity 

Tethering the living 

To the ground 

 

And I confess 

To smile like a child

Who broke open 

A piñata filled with candy 

Over visiting hour 

But my visits 

Only seem to get shorter 

As I grow older 

 

Lovers come and go 

Like wind blown mosquitos

And I do the frame work 

While pacing the cage 

With each ink spilt word 

That falls upon my page 

I have no expectations to be freed 

Over the tears I bleed 

For my freedom I miss 

Like the salt would miss the sea 

 

 

And when all is said and done 

Remembering to forget 

All my regret 

To be grateful 

To live threw death 

 

On the outskirts of town 

Is where I hide out

BLACK BEAUTY

 

Embrace love as if it's blind

Like faceless beauty

 

Erase everything

Like fairy tales

Or fantasies of perfection

 

Dip our bodies in black ink

And sink into loves feeling

Like I do 

 

Deep within its bliss

I taste the salt upon shadows

And feel warmth within flesh

Only to feel the sting 

Because love has been blinded

 

How do I know I found it

If it's not with you

My blackened beauty

 

That's curves get outlined

On soaked paper with inked black words

Shimmering colourless

 

I trace your face

Like a lost artist

I taste the ink

That drips from your lips 

In love that's blind

 

I find you by feeling

Your black beauty

Deep within poetry

like four letter words 

That curl up in the nook of your neck 

 

Let time unveil the truth 

If love is merely a facade 

 

Or is it just perfectly flawed 

In this blacked out reality 

 

I wait with out waiting 

To blindly embrace you

BEHIND

 

Behind my back

I have an itch

That can't be scratched

A glitch

That can't be patched

Behind my back

 

Behind my back

My losses test my threshold

With those I loved

Who packed up

And left me behind

With memories of a past

Stained black

Behind my back

 

Behind my back

Lovers detach 

And gums flap

In the wake

Of mortal mistakes

And I listen

With intent

To break patterns

As seasons fly past

With the planet's rotation

I do my best 

To hold joy fast

Behind my back

 

Behind my back

Mind over matter

Keeps my sanity

Intact

As photos

Try stealing us

From the now

Blessed to be

Blind to see

Distractions

Destructions to keep me from being

Present with each moment

Without seeing and the same time I'm cursed

To be such a dreamer

With an over active imagination

That Can't let go of the past

And strives for a brighter future

With a secret

Locket in my pocket

Just waiting to unlock it

To reveal a photo

Of a beauty that's true

A photo of you 

With my chips stacked 

Behind my back

 

I move forward

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